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How Do U Know If You're A Hoochie Mama
1). You've ever crawled out of a club because a fight broke out.
2). You've ever started a fight with someone because you didn't like the way someone looked at you.
3). You've ever messed up/trashed someone's outfit because it was identical to yours.
4). You've ever started a fight with another woman because they looked at your man "The Wrong Way".
5). You think of faux furs and leopard print clothing as "good clothes".
6). You ever went to your baby-daddy's job for money to buy milk or diapers.
7). You expect your man to pay you rent, and he doesn't live with you.
8). You've ever said, "I loved-ed my man, even when he did his time upstate for me".
9). You've ever said, "I love me some him".
10).Your oldest daughter was the "Miniature Bride" in the ceremony.
11).You and your boyfriend were banned from your child's Jr. High dances because the two of you led everyone to believe you were auditioning for a production of "Dirty Dancing".
12).You've ever gotten you hair and nails "did".
13).You and your mother are pregnant at the same time.
14).Your grandmother is 42, your mother is 28, and you are 14 with a baby on the way. (You do the math)
15).Your children are more than 6 years older than their aunts and uncles.
16).You believe no woman's wardrobe is complete w/out Lycra and spandex.
17).Your fingernails are so long people often wonder how you wipe your ass.
18).You always declare, "Ain't no shame in my game".
19).Some how, you grew 12 inch of hair in 10 hours.
20).Your hair is brown, your crochet braids are black and gold.
21).You're a 14, all of dresses are size 9's.
22).Your hair is so tall that you have a designated seat at the back of the movie theatre.
23).You consider glue, glitter, and chop sticks as hair accessories.
24).You aren't allowed to dance in the club because men slip you dollar bills.
25.)Every babydaddy you have is in jail.
26).You've ever thrown any of the following at your man:
TV, VCR, Toasters, curling irons, irons, or any major appliance
27).You'd rather have a big screen TV than a computer.
28).Your name has more than one "Q" in the spelling.
29).Your name is more than three syllables long.
30).You name ends or begins with "La, Ta, Sha, Qa, Quo"
31).Any of the following songs can be your official theme song
Sock It To Me(Missy Elliot), Doo Wop (That Thing)(Lauryn Hill), One Night Stand(J-Shin), Hot Spot(Foxy Brown), You Know I'm A Hoe(Master P& Ice Cube)
32).You wear flip-flops and mini skirts to the store.
33).You've worn more than one hairstyle at a time (you know, finger waves on the front, crimps on the right, French roll, and spiral curls in the back)
34).You carry your baby on your hip.
35).You've got a baby on each hip.